Potty Dance

When I get home sometimes, I have not gone to the bathroom all day. Now, usually the first thing I do is let my dog out. She waits all day to go and does not have the opportunity to go by herself, obviously…

Since I have the chance to pee all day, theoretically, is it bad on the days I make her wait while I go?

1-5, how bad am I?

Erkel

At work there is a security guard who I have to interact with regularly. He is socially awkward, at best. Unfortunately, he never learned good ways to interact with others and, I’m sure, had a difficult life because of this.

Now generally I’m pretty understanding and don’t mind helping these folks practice, through positive and negative reinforcement, appropriate behaviors. Can you tell yet that I am a Psychology major?

Anyway, I have tried to push down the eye rolling and grimaces while interacting with this guy but it keep getting harder and harder. He has moved from just awkward to rude occasionally as well. I’m not sure that he know he is being rude though… So, while not with him, I have taken to calling him Erkel. Harsh, but pretty accurate (pants and all.) Well, this nick name has kinda taken root with the other staff and now he is generally referred to as Erkel now.

Woops! I think this mean spirited nickname may fall under bullying. Damn it! I HATE bullies! Even knowing this, I still can’t seem to stop calling him Erkel. It has turned into my way of venting about him.

Naughty Scale, 1-5. How terrible am I for continuing to call him that? Should I stop or keep this venting tool so I can tolerate him while face-to-face?

Watered Down Truth

So I have a super crappy apartment right? Well, when it rains hard my apartment floods. I don’t get home till after 10:00pm in the evenings so maintenance is definitely not still working and it has to be a life and death situation for them to come out to check on a problem.

The other night it rained hard, and I mean hard! For several hours. (So hard it actually collapsed one of our death-trap parking garages… Which after 3 months is still ½ standing with only one string of caution tape around it. But I digress.) When I walked into my apartment, I expected the normal amount of flooding, a wet window sill and couch which is near the window. Well, I walked in and my foot hit wet. You know that splat noise from freshly wet carpet? Yea. At first I though my dog had peed on the floor since I was in the middle of the room. Then I took another step, splat. Oh my dog was going to get a beat down! She peed in TWO different places?!? Then it hit me. Flooding.

I pulled my sectional away from the wall and water was still coming in from the window and in though the electrical outlet as well. DANGER!!! So I called the maintenance number. Surprise… no response. I left  message. After 10 more minutes, I called back explaining how dangerous the situation was in another message. Well, by the time, the water had quit coming in through the window and I had cleaned the window and wall mostly up with a towel, it occurs to me if the guy comes, he is gong to see a dry sill and not do anything about the problem till the next day.

So what naughty thing did I do… I got a cup of water and poured it on the sill. Shady, right?!? It did however aid my cause and the maintenance guy called in a emergency wet-vac crew out immediately.

So, one to five? I think my numbers might be a little more severe this time.

Office Games

Howdy bloggers! I work at a university in the student services department and mostly love my job. Don’t love the TERRIBLE pay and hours though. The campus director approached me about a job that would give me normal hours and a $7,000 min pay raise. Uh, Heck yea!

Well, because I had not been working a full year yet there was some HR fiasco and it took over a month before the actual interview. During that time, 3 people had been hired into that dept and one of the people from my own dept quit. I was now tasked with all of this person’s duties (which no one else in my dept was capable of doing… Can you guess where this is going?)

Anyway, interview day came and I bombed the interview. I have no idea what happened!?!?! Really, Jennifer… Interview EPIC FAIL. So, pair all of those things together and I did not get the job. Okay, so here we are, there is no hope that a position will come open soon at my current job which means I’m stuck with the God awful shift and pay for another year at least.

I’m now casually looking for other jobs. I want to work as an administrator with non-profits and with youth. Here is the problem: I have assured my leadership team that I am fine and am excited to keep after my current job. “I look forward to applying again when the opportunity comes up.”

I know that saying the truth is definitely a bad idea but they put me in a position where I had to give this feedback…

Naughty Scale… Lying to your boss, 1-5?

Starbucks and a Funeral

Today was a sad, hard day. My boyfriend’s grandfather passed, his last male, family role model. Today was the funeral so I asked my boss if it was ok to turn in some vacation time and go. Of course, he said yes.

So I had a pretty sleepless night worrying about my boyfriend and, in general, the whole affair was pretty exhausting. I went to the funeral, then lunch, and then headed off to work. On the way back, knowing it would take an extra 15- 20 minutes, I stopped at Starbucks for a venti salted, caramel, soy mocha at 130 degrees as well as QuickTrip becasue my tire was low on air and needed its weekly refill.

Here is the question, do you think those extra non-funeral minutes are ethical since I did not originally ask for the extra time? Perhaps only the QuickTrip minutes are ok since it was needed…? However, I sort of felt like that deflated, saggy tire and Starbucks can make even the worst day a little brighter… I’ll leave it to you.

Obviously an Idiot

If you have never heard of Ted Talks, I encourage you to Google and enjoy! Miss Kathryn Schultz gives a talk “On Being Wrong.” It is genius. Anyway, it talks about the assumptions we place on others when they do not agree with us. Since this is related, and funny, I thought I’d share.

So when people don’t agree with you:

1. Ignorant Assumption: Obviously they do not have all the facts. After you enlighten them with the “truth” they will change their minds.

When that does not work…

2. Idiocy Assumption: Okay, they have the fact but are too stupid to put them all together.

When that does not work it leads to the final assumption…

3. Evil Assumption: They have all the facts and are smart, so obviously they are, with malice, acting against the good and truth you are representing.

I find myself often following these assumptions. For instance: my aloof, slob, conniving, lazy co-worker. We both work in the same department and, unfortunately, since we work opposite shifts, have to share the same work space. Now, students who come in see this mess she leaves on the desk and I mean MESS… ALL THE TIME. I usually spend 10-15 minutes every time she leaves the desk cleaning up after her. (our shifts do overlap a few hours) This mess includes used Kleenex, dried noodles on the keyboard, random papers everywhere, chip crumbs, etc. You get the picture.

I have confronted her about this on multiple occasions and she says that she works best in this “environment.” OMG! Are you bleeping kidding me?!? Okay, I’m not sure if she is bright enough to make it to the evil assumption…

This leads me to my scenario. It is a little different because I have not done this potentially naughty act yet… I am thinking of taking a picture each time she leaves the desk and presenting irrefutable, photo evidence to my boss. Now this may seem drastic but I have gone to him MULTIPLE times about this issue to no avail. Mostly though, I want to get her in trouble though, rather than  the more important issue of showing a presentable space to the students.

Every day I think that there is no way I could possible like her less, but then it happens.

So, on naughty scale, 1-5? I will also take alternate suggestions on how to handle this problem. I hope b*tch slapping is one of my choices… just sayin’.

Answering Questions

Morning friends! So, when people ask me questions, even when I know they mean to ask something else, is it lying to answer only the question asked? Confused? Yea… Here is an example. “Hey roommate, did you eat those cookies while I was out?” The real question is “You b*tch, did you really eat my cookies?” Now, the answer to the first question is "no" if you ate the cookies while your roommate was sleeping… but the answer to the real questions is yes, you thieving brat, you ate the cookies. Get it?

Okay, back to me. Here is the situation. I have a little sister with the Big Brother Big Sisters program and I adore her. She is 14 and we met a year ago. If I was a fourteen year old African American, with just a touch more attitude, I would be her!

She is starting to notice and ask more questions about boys, babies, and the birds and bees. We have a very open and trusting relationship so she knows she can come to me with anything. Well, we were driving around town the other day and she was asking me about my boyfriend. She asked, “Does your boyfriend stay the night at your house?” when she really meant, “Do you and him have sex?”

Delima! I do not want to lie to her but I’m also trying to be a good role model, especially where boys are concerned. The real answer to the questions is, “OMG, we have wild monkey sex whenever possible.” But technically he does not stay the whole night because he has sleep apnea and needs to go home to use his breathing machine while he sleeps. So I just answered, “No, he does not stay the night.”

Naughty scale from one to five? And, is it lying?

Poor Puppies

I have a terrible habit of never saying “No” when I should. Last week was no different. My boss, who I generally like, was going out of two for a week. He asked me to watch his two horses, I mean Great Danes. Of course, I said yes even though I had wonderful plans of doing nothing over my holiday weekend. Did I mention that my boss lives on the other side of town?!

Anyway, I have been dutifully letting the dogs out 2-3 times a day. That is, till yesterday. I had gone over in the early afternoon and spent about 4 hours at the house, playing with the dogs, eating some delicious Chinese food I picked up on the way over, and watching TV. I let them out twice and planned to come back before I went to bed.

Instead… My boyfriend called me up and we had date night. I had a few drinks with dinner and that was it. After a long day, a delicious meal, and good company, I was spent. I just wanted to get into bed and sleep, sleep, sleep. And that is what I did. I did not go back over and let the dogs out again. Instead I woke up extra early and let them out in the morning.

On the Naughty Scale, one to five? The picture is of my dog sitting next to one of the great danes- crazy right?

Water Bottle Wars

This is a light situation to get us started.

Okay, I live in a crappy apartment where the heavy scent of pot and stale beer greets you when you open the building’s door each day. I have some questionable neighbors, at best, and some terrible landlords, the understatement of this century. Well, since I moved in 4 months ago, the management has changed 3 times. This ultimately means that the housekeeping gal abandoned this sinking ship and I have horrendously dirty, bug-grave-yard, community halls.

A week ago, one of my neighbors dropped an empty water bottle in the hall. I generally ignored it till two days ago when it was squarely in front of my door. “Oh, hell no!” are the word I believe I uttered as I impulsively kicked the bottle down the hall in front of the, I assume, offenders door. (The owner of the door has bratty kids and they always leave trash in the hallway.)

Okay, I was still looking at the bottle when I finally pushed my Id back far enough to reason. I actually thought to myself, “Wow, this has been in the hall for a week. Obviously no one is going to pick it up; it will just keep getting kicked back and forth.” Instead of picking up this bottle and throwing it away like a mature adult, I shrugged and left it there.

It is still in the hallway today.

One to five on the naughty scale? And, should I continue to leave it there?

A Little Context

Howdy!

I have only read a blog twice in my life. Wow, now that that is out of the way... I am excited to have the chance to share with you the crazy situations I often find myself in and the sometimes shady decisions I make. I want to share honest situations without pulling any punches. I encourage each of you to post your reactions to my choices; what you would have done, maybe a "Hell ya, I totally agree," or probably more frequently, "You better get started on those Hail Mary's." Help me rate my situations on a Naughty Scale, from one to five. A Five rating would be "pack your bags, you are going to hell on a flaming rocket." A One would be, "Ya, I would have totally done that same with no guilt."

A little history on my ethics. I am a Catholic (not a very good one) who believes that all religions, in the end, are celebrating the same God, only in different ways. My grandma once said that Heaven is like the mall. There are hundreds of ways to get there. Some have detours, some have road construction, or they may be short cuts but if you stay on the path, you will eventually end up at the mall. Holy cow, I love my grandma!

My dad is super ethical and I grew up in an environment that supported good decisions. I am so happy for that upbringing. It gives you great perspective. Doing the right thing is not always easy. I find that most of my choices follow this upbringing but some certainly would make the naughty list. I hope you find the humor, spirit, and truth to human nature in my stories and happy reading!